Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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