i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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