you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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