so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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