you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
