he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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