we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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