Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
