Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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