I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
