While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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