So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Randomize
