I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
