Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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