Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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