Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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