I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize