Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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