I seem to have left my pride at pride
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
