I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize