So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
