grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
