I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
