you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I did not marry a roomba.
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