My brain says no but my pants say off.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
