Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
