guys are only as good as the porn they watch
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
