Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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