Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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