I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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