I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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