i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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