never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
