He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
