How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
