I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
