the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
