I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i drank out of a bidet.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
