Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize