i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
