Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
