She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
