It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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