am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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