ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
