i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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