I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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