And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
