You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
