the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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