giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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