Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
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