Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
