Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
