he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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