I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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