he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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