Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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