Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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