I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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