I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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