I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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