Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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