your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
