Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
