He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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