Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Randomize
