I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
