He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
