belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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