Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
