I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
