Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
