SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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